Was That the Wrong Pill to Take?

"Ah, pierce me 100 times with your needles fine and I will thank you 100 times, Saint Morphine, you who Aeseulapus has made a God."

Really dig that quote by Jules Verne.  And no, I'm not shooting morphine, though I've had it on occasion, and while only for surgeries, I do understand the appeal.

I skipped a pill the other night due to the lateness of the hour of which I would be going to bed, and boy did I feel it the next morning...and so did everyone else.  I was bouncing off the walls, like I normally am when I don't get any sleep, and someone was kind enough to tell me I was talking with machine gun rapidity.  I was also very sick with allergies and had a slight OD on benadryl this weekend.  Benadryl and my new pill don't mix well.  In fact, my new pill doesn't mix well with a lot of things, and that's really sucking for me.

My wrist was killing me the other day so I snagged a hydro from someone and holy overdose Batman...I've never felt so horrible in my life.  And add to that the benadryl I apparently took too many of I had an atrocious weekend.  Literally had to force myself to finally get out yesterday afternoon to just go run somewhere and get a drink because I had no passion to do anything at all.  I sat on the couch, watched TV, and played videogames from Saturday afternoon until Sunday evening.  What a horrible way to spend my weekend off.  Normally I'm out and about, partying or just trying to stay active, but not this weekend.

And I didn't like it one freaking bit. 

There's not really anybody I could call and say "Hey, I'm feeling like a shut-in, do you mind if I come hang out at your place for a while?"  That just opens the door for all sorts of questions that I don't feel like answering.  Yes, I have friends, and most of them know about my...quirky personality is how I'll put it, but I still feel even more like an outcast or a weirdo if I try and explain how I'm feeling. 

My mind is totally blank up here right now.  And it's never been this way.  I know everyone is telling me that my body is re-adjusting and I'll feel like this for a couple more weeks, but DAYUM!!!  If this is what I've been missing all my life, I'm starting to wonder if I made the right decision to get myself treated.  Yes, I'm sleeping.  But I'm a functioning zombie.  And who the hell wants to feel like that?

One Pill Makes you Larger and One Pill Makes you Small....

But sometimes you find something that puts you right in the middle, and there's nothing wrong at all.

So, the sleepy-eyed neurologist whose circles matched mine put me on an interesting drug Thursday.  Please, no names...the last thing I need are my friends Googling that shit and finding out what it is.  I've been on it for two days straight, and though it's too early to feel major differences, I did get five hours of uninterrupted sleep last night.  That is HUGE for me.  Y'all know how little I sleep, and it helped that I didn't have to get up for work until 6:30 this morning rather than the obscene time of 3:30 which is my norm.

It takes a bit to shake off this groggy feeling I'm experiencing for the first time, but it has been noted that I wasn't quite my frenzied self yesterday, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that this is something that will work for me in the long-term.

I even promised the doctor and others that I would follow the rules to a T, and that means no drinking or other substances while I'm on this.  At least not for the first couple of weeks.  Hah!  Sure, I can have a glass of wine or a beer, but I promised I wouldn't be the hardcore pAArtier I normally am. 

I'm still a little concerned that this pill will work but I won't like how it makes me feel, and therefore stop taking it.  You hear it all the time.  Sure, it worked...but it made me feel horrible.  So far I haven't experienced any of those sensations, but I'm also only my third day.  I think my brain chemicals are re-organizing.  I'm being reset, so to speak.  And hopefully in a positive way.

For now, the White Knight still talks backwards, but I'm beginning to understand what he's saying.