Wow, it's been over two months since I blogged last. I wish I could say it's because I've been way too busy with life that I haven't had time to write. But seeing as how I have all the free time in the world, I don't really have an excuse.
I think it's more self preservation. If I really said what I thought about things and people, it could get real ugly real fast.
My birthday is Saturday, I'll be 34 and no, getting older doesn't bother me. I still feel like a young twenty-something and act like a juvenile, so it's all good. Hell, I got carded for cigarettes (yes, I'm back to smoking) so apparently I don't look that old. Or maybe she was just being nice.
Great, now I'm paranoid.
Lot Lizard came to town a while ago and we had so much fun. Went to the Texas State Fair the day Big Tex burned and got in for free. Some dude in line had extra tickets and gave them to us. SCORE. One minor Piper moment when I lost my driver's license, but luckily it was found and turned in to the little lost & found department at the fair. Thank the gods I didn't have to get a new one, though I wouldn't mind a new picture.
Then we went and ate at La Colle Doce, great mexican seafood restaurant. Some wine drinking priest bought us shots. Again with the free stuff. We were going to go back out to Dallas and party, but decided to go to the drive-in and see "Looper". It was mind-blowing. And we got free funnel cakes!!! The next morning, Cafe Brazil. Gods, I love that place. I could eat there everyday, though sometimes those hipsters scare me. And every time I see a certain waiter there I get the song "Tesla Girl" stuck in my head.
Long story.
That was also the same week Will came back to town. Had a blast catching up with him, eating oysters, playing vidoegames and the usual shenanigans. He's moved back to Colorado and is living the good life.
That's pretty much it. I'm slightly unmedicated right now (my choice) and I'm feeling pretty good. I've got my bad days, but hell, who doesn't?
Looking forward to what I hope will be a fun weekend. We're going to Jinbeh for my birthday dinner. Awesome little place in Las Colinas, and then hoping to party with some friends after. We shall see.
Stay classy, Internet.
Monday, December 10, 2012
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Just Relax and Accept the Crazy
I am MANIC today. Lack of sleep doesn't help. I was up til past one am last night and got up around 4:30 am. Fun times!!!
I was supposed to go to Biloxi next weekend, but I think that's been nixed. I'm upset since I won't be able to spend time with the Lot Lizard, but plans may change, so I'm trying to stay optimistic. Probably because I'm listening to "Optimistic" by Radiohead.
IRONY IN YOUR FACE
So what shall I do for my vacation? I've already got some ideas, but being the person that I am, I'll probably not go through with any of them and end up lazing about my house with my dogs and bothering people because I'm bored. They know when I'm like this and tend to ignore, which is fine. I'm usually texting people at random to distract myself from the voices in my head, and when someone responds, I'm on them like white on rice. They shouldn't have engaged, which is what I usually tell them.
I should be getting a new videogame to waste away some hours, so that will be fun. Music and games are my solace when I'm in my sociopath mode, which is when I don't care a lick about being around people but still need to keep busy.
There's this house out by where my sister and her family lives, and every time I drive by it, I feel like Wayne Campbell, speaking the mantra "She will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine." I have no clue what this house looks like on the inside, but it's a gorgeous old farmhouse that sits atop a nice little hill with tons of space and trees. I imagine myself sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair watching thunderstorms. If that house were mine, that is.
Although sometimes I think if I ever came into a lot of money, I would just fix up my own house. The kitchen can be made bigger if I knock a wall out, and I really need to turn one of the spare rooms into a bedroom for the occasional sleepover. The other spare room is packed with books and movies and music and junk. There's no rhyme or reason to it, just tossed in there. I open the door and want to clean it up, but I haven't a clue where to begin so I shut the door and ignore it.
I'm very good at ignoring messes. Denial, maybe? Who the hell knows. Like I said, I'm manic today and taking it out on my blog, which I haven't done in a while.
There are days when I want to sell everything and use the money to travel around with my dogs and the Honey Badger, working as a waitress or whatever when I need a little extra cash. Hanging out in a small town then moving on when the mood strikes me. I don't like having roots, which is why buying my house was a huge deal for me. It's not that I feel stuck or anything, but I think it helps me resist my urge to just up and leave when flights of fancy strike me. Like right now, I want to leave work. Sure, I've got one final show to caption before my day is done, but meh. I'm not feeling it today. Besides that, my concentration doesn't exist today, so it would be for the greater good. Or so I tell myself.
Well, I think I've rambled on enough. This was more for me to just pass the time and get the jumbled thoughts out of my head, but if you enjoyed this, good. You're probably like "Thank the gods I'm not like this!" :D
I was supposed to go to Biloxi next weekend, but I think that's been nixed. I'm upset since I won't be able to spend time with the Lot Lizard, but plans may change, so I'm trying to stay optimistic. Probably because I'm listening to "Optimistic" by Radiohead.
IRONY IN YOUR FACE
So what shall I do for my vacation? I've already got some ideas, but being the person that I am, I'll probably not go through with any of them and end up lazing about my house with my dogs and bothering people because I'm bored. They know when I'm like this and tend to ignore, which is fine. I'm usually texting people at random to distract myself from the voices in my head, and when someone responds, I'm on them like white on rice. They shouldn't have engaged, which is what I usually tell them.
I should be getting a new videogame to waste away some hours, so that will be fun. Music and games are my solace when I'm in my sociopath mode, which is when I don't care a lick about being around people but still need to keep busy.
There's this house out by where my sister and her family lives, and every time I drive by it, I feel like Wayne Campbell, speaking the mantra "She will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine." I have no clue what this house looks like on the inside, but it's a gorgeous old farmhouse that sits atop a nice little hill with tons of space and trees. I imagine myself sitting on the front porch in a rocking chair watching thunderstorms. If that house were mine, that is.
Although sometimes I think if I ever came into a lot of money, I would just fix up my own house. The kitchen can be made bigger if I knock a wall out, and I really need to turn one of the spare rooms into a bedroom for the occasional sleepover. The other spare room is packed with books and movies and music and junk. There's no rhyme or reason to it, just tossed in there. I open the door and want to clean it up, but I haven't a clue where to begin so I shut the door and ignore it.
I'm very good at ignoring messes. Denial, maybe? Who the hell knows. Like I said, I'm manic today and taking it out on my blog, which I haven't done in a while.
There are days when I want to sell everything and use the money to travel around with my dogs and the Honey Badger, working as a waitress or whatever when I need a little extra cash. Hanging out in a small town then moving on when the mood strikes me. I don't like having roots, which is why buying my house was a huge deal for me. It's not that I feel stuck or anything, but I think it helps me resist my urge to just up and leave when flights of fancy strike me. Like right now, I want to leave work. Sure, I've got one final show to caption before my day is done, but meh. I'm not feeling it today. Besides that, my concentration doesn't exist today, so it would be for the greater good. Or so I tell myself.
Well, I think I've rambled on enough. This was more for me to just pass the time and get the jumbled thoughts out of my head, but if you enjoyed this, good. You're probably like "Thank the gods I'm not like this!" :D
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Scratch Everything
I've been partially unmedicated for the past week thanks to having a reaction to one of my meds. And I NEVER have adverse reactions, so I couldn't believe it was this one particular pill. Needless to say, once I stopped taking it...the shit hit the fan.
I had the meltdown to end all meltdowns at the Chicken Express last Saturday, and my sister was even there to witness it. She could not stop laughing and I'm surprised she didn't videotape it. I know I would have if the roles had been reversed.
We were at the drive-thru, and after Kelly told me her order, I decided I wanted some gizzards. Yes, I eat liver and gizzards. Anyways, the person tells me that they've been there a while, do I want something else. Okay, no big deal. I'll get something else, something simpler....you know, like chicken. That was not to be. It was going to take them at least 15 minutes to make NEW CHICKEN.
And that's when Courtney left her body and Piper emerged. I totally went off, screaming at them and my parting shot was "Scratch It! Scratch everything you chicken scratchers! We'll just go somewhere else!!" I've toned it down a bit, but you get it.
We ended up at Braums, and my sister had already Facebooked about it, saying she hoped Braums had ice cream, or else it could get even worse.
She got a little upset at me for telling the Braums people about Chicken Expressless, but I am my father's daughter and make conversation with anyone. I asked the dude if he was going to spit in our food since they had been our second choice. He just laughed and made me the best chocolate shake ever.
I had an appointment with my pill pusher Wednesday, and she decided to take me off my main drug and give me something new. It's less sedating, but still helps with the "dysphoric mania" that people like me tend to have. I started it last night, so we'll see how good it is. I never get the pills that have commercials, and even though she said this had been around for a while, it was a new one to me. And I know my drugs, legal and illegal.
Me, my friend Will (Sunday Fundays) and his girlfriend went and saw The Dark Knight rises. We snuck a flask in like teenagers and had the time of our lives. The movie kicked ass, even if it was very long. I only had to leave once! Very impressed with myself. The place was packed, and every time Anne Hathaway was on the screen, Will would say "Slut", and the couple sitting next to me would just die laughing. Then we decided that Bane's voice sounded like Space Ghost, and it was just downhill from there. When we left the theater, at 10 pm, it was still 98 FREAKING DEGREES. That's not the boy band, that's the actual temperature.
Texas has been a nasty, hot, sweltering bitch. It got up to 108 the other day, and I can't decide if I have no energy because of the heat or because I'm coming down off my meds. Probably a mixture of both. I don't even like eating right now, that's how bad it is. And I love my food.
Speaking of food, I'm trying this half-assed no gluten in my diet. By half-assed, I mean only some of the foods I eat are gluten free. I've lost almost eight pounds, so I'm stoked about that.
Me and the Lot Lizard are planning to go to Biloxi at the end of September. Gambling is one of my vices, so I'm saving up big time. I always hope that I hit it big, but then reality sets in and I remember I have the luck of the Bowdens so I better have plenty of extra dough on me. I don't mind losing, but as long as those slot sluts let me play on a $20 for a while, I'm having a great time. Plus the free alcohol. How can you go wrong?
I had the meltdown to end all meltdowns at the Chicken Express last Saturday, and my sister was even there to witness it. She could not stop laughing and I'm surprised she didn't videotape it. I know I would have if the roles had been reversed.
We were at the drive-thru, and after Kelly told me her order, I decided I wanted some gizzards. Yes, I eat liver and gizzards. Anyways, the person tells me that they've been there a while, do I want something else. Okay, no big deal. I'll get something else, something simpler....you know, like chicken. That was not to be. It was going to take them at least 15 minutes to make NEW CHICKEN.
And that's when Courtney left her body and Piper emerged. I totally went off, screaming at them and my parting shot was "Scratch It! Scratch everything you chicken scratchers! We'll just go somewhere else!!" I've toned it down a bit, but you get it.
We ended up at Braums, and my sister had already Facebooked about it, saying she hoped Braums had ice cream, or else it could get even worse.
She got a little upset at me for telling the Braums people about Chicken Expressless, but I am my father's daughter and make conversation with anyone. I asked the dude if he was going to spit in our food since they had been our second choice. He just laughed and made me the best chocolate shake ever.
I had an appointment with my pill pusher Wednesday, and she decided to take me off my main drug and give me something new. It's less sedating, but still helps with the "dysphoric mania" that people like me tend to have. I started it last night, so we'll see how good it is. I never get the pills that have commercials, and even though she said this had been around for a while, it was a new one to me. And I know my drugs, legal and illegal.
Me, my friend Will (Sunday Fundays) and his girlfriend went and saw The Dark Knight rises. We snuck a flask in like teenagers and had the time of our lives. The movie kicked ass, even if it was very long. I only had to leave once! Very impressed with myself. The place was packed, and every time Anne Hathaway was on the screen, Will would say "Slut", and the couple sitting next to me would just die laughing. Then we decided that Bane's voice sounded like Space Ghost, and it was just downhill from there. When we left the theater, at 10 pm, it was still 98 FREAKING DEGREES. That's not the boy band, that's the actual temperature.
Texas has been a nasty, hot, sweltering bitch. It got up to 108 the other day, and I can't decide if I have no energy because of the heat or because I'm coming down off my meds. Probably a mixture of both. I don't even like eating right now, that's how bad it is. And I love my food.
Speaking of food, I'm trying this half-assed no gluten in my diet. By half-assed, I mean only some of the foods I eat are gluten free. I've lost almost eight pounds, so I'm stoked about that.
Me and the Lot Lizard are planning to go to Biloxi at the end of September. Gambling is one of my vices, so I'm saving up big time. I always hope that I hit it big, but then reality sets in and I remember I have the luck of the Bowdens so I better have plenty of extra dough on me. I don't mind losing, but as long as those slot sluts let me play on a $20 for a while, I'm having a great time. Plus the free alcohol. How can you go wrong?
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Sunday Fundays, Whimsical Wednesdays, and Everything in Between
So I went to the Van Halen concert a couple weeks ago, made even better by the fact that we were in suites with all the liquor we could drink. Free. David Lee Roth is a strange bird. You can just see the madness in his face, well that and the weed, and he got VERY philosophical, talking about dogs and other stuff that had nothing to do with being Hot For Teacher or Panama. Despite that little segue, it was a blast. And we almost got out of there with no drama.
Almost.
Even though we had VIP parking, it was still a madhouse trying to get out because nobody was letting the Honey Badger back out. So my friend, being the man of action that he is, got out and stood in front of the vehicles behind us. Embarrassing? Yes. Funny? Hell yes. So the suburban he was blocking, when I was finally able to move, the lady in the passenger seat starts yelling at me about how she was going to let me out and that it was such bullshit what he was doing. I apologized and we were screaming at W to get back in the car, but he kept standing there.
So what's the problem? When I'm clearly trying to diffuse the situation and you continue to yell at me instead of the dude causing the trouble, then we have a problem. She told me she had my tag and she was going to tell security. Tell them what?? That nobody was letting us out so we took perhaps extreme measures? I wish a bitch would.
Why are people like that? For all they know, I could have a blade under my seat and go all schizoid. I mean, obviously me and my friends are a bit off if we're using another friend as a human shield against cars.
Sunday Funday turned into Escape From Dallas since Italy was losing the Euro2012 to Spain. As soon as the score went up to 2-0, I knew it was time to hightail it out of there. I did a well check the following day to make sure no lives had been hurt, but if they had been, did he need an alibi.
I got my pack of my cigarettes last night and drenched them in water and threw them away. Seven bucks down the drain. And BOOM, like that...I'm not smoking ciggies anymore. I have a hard time giving up a lot of my addictions, but cigarettes have always been the easiest. I think I'm attracted to the smoke more than the taste. Some of y'all might relate to that.
I'm listening to Radiohead in my studio. Thom York puts everything right in the world. Him and Tori and Bjork and Flo and Portishead. Especially if my mind's a little clogged with the "others". I listen to music ALL day long. And usually very loud. I was talking to a friend and she says she does the same thing to shut out all the noise in her head. Nice to know I'm not the only one, LoL. Hey, sometimes the meds don't work and Courtney has to find her own way to have a little quiet.
Oooooh!!!! So, the crackberry finally torched itself and I am now the owner of an Iphone4 that I got for $50. How you say? I have no clue. Maybe my natural charisma. Like my hair's naturally natural. Anyways, it's pretty cool. I'm not obsessed with it like some others (my sister). And even though I repel technology, so far I haven't had any problems. The only thing I hate is the stupid autocorrect and it thinking it knows what I'm trying to spell. I have my own way of speaking, so please Apple...stop trying to CHANGE ME. Hahahaha. I kid, I kid. Although my deformed thumb doesn't help me with the touchpad screen. It's very frustrating.
Saw "Magic Mike" Friday night with my sister and a couple of her mommy friends. For the love of Zeus...I'm not a Channing Tatum fan, but every other man in there was HOT HOT HOT like the Cure song. And it was actually quite funny and good. I have a feeling a lot of men got the shit banged out of them after it came out, and that's all I'll say on that. Matthew McConaugnhey doesn't age, and if you ever wondered what happened to him after he was Dazed and Confused, you'll definitely find out.
That's all she wrote my fine, furry friends. Stay Classy.
Almost.
Even though we had VIP parking, it was still a madhouse trying to get out because nobody was letting the Honey Badger back out. So my friend, being the man of action that he is, got out and stood in front of the vehicles behind us. Embarrassing? Yes. Funny? Hell yes. So the suburban he was blocking, when I was finally able to move, the lady in the passenger seat starts yelling at me about how she was going to let me out and that it was such bullshit what he was doing. I apologized and we were screaming at W to get back in the car, but he kept standing there.
So what's the problem? When I'm clearly trying to diffuse the situation and you continue to yell at me instead of the dude causing the trouble, then we have a problem. She told me she had my tag and she was going to tell security. Tell them what?? That nobody was letting us out so we took perhaps extreme measures? I wish a bitch would.
Why are people like that? For all they know, I could have a blade under my seat and go all schizoid. I mean, obviously me and my friends are a bit off if we're using another friend as a human shield against cars.
Sunday Funday turned into Escape From Dallas since Italy was losing the Euro2012 to Spain. As soon as the score went up to 2-0, I knew it was time to hightail it out of there. I did a well check the following day to make sure no lives had been hurt, but if they had been, did he need an alibi.
I got my pack of my cigarettes last night and drenched them in water and threw them away. Seven bucks down the drain. And BOOM, like that...I'm not smoking ciggies anymore. I have a hard time giving up a lot of my addictions, but cigarettes have always been the easiest. I think I'm attracted to the smoke more than the taste. Some of y'all might relate to that.
I'm listening to Radiohead in my studio. Thom York puts everything right in the world. Him and Tori and Bjork and Flo and Portishead. Especially if my mind's a little clogged with the "others". I listen to music ALL day long. And usually very loud. I was talking to a friend and she says she does the same thing to shut out all the noise in her head. Nice to know I'm not the only one, LoL. Hey, sometimes the meds don't work and Courtney has to find her own way to have a little quiet.
Oooooh!!!! So, the crackberry finally torched itself and I am now the owner of an Iphone4 that I got for $50. How you say? I have no clue. Maybe my natural charisma. Like my hair's naturally natural. Anyways, it's pretty cool. I'm not obsessed with it like some others (my sister). And even though I repel technology, so far I haven't had any problems. The only thing I hate is the stupid autocorrect and it thinking it knows what I'm trying to spell. I have my own way of speaking, so please Apple...stop trying to CHANGE ME. Hahahaha. I kid, I kid. Although my deformed thumb doesn't help me with the touchpad screen. It's very frustrating.
Saw "Magic Mike" Friday night with my sister and a couple of her mommy friends. For the love of Zeus...I'm not a Channing Tatum fan, but every other man in there was HOT HOT HOT like the Cure song. And it was actually quite funny and good. I have a feeling a lot of men got the shit banged out of them after it came out, and that's all I'll say on that. Matthew McConaugnhey doesn't age, and if you ever wondered what happened to him after he was Dazed and Confused, you'll definitely find out.
That's all she wrote my fine, furry friends. Stay Classy.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Confessions of a Klutz
Hi, my name is Courtney and I'm extremely clumsy.
I'm currently sitting in my studio at work with an icepack on my ankle and splints on my wrists. And they are both unrelated injuries.
My tendonitis has been really bad the past couple weeks, and now I've got to get an EMG and nerve reduction study done. And those aren't pleasant experiences either. This just pisses me off more because I'm thinking I'LL NEVER GET TO THOSE VIOLIN LESSONS MY PARENTS GOT ME FOR CHRISTMAS
The gods are against me. Or so it feels like sometimes.
Then this morning while I was innocently giving my dogs water, I fell off my back porch and into the damned sinkhole by the deck. Needless to say I was rolling around in my backyard cussing at the top of my lungs at 4:30 am. Bastards.
I had a great weekend, though. I was supposed to work, but doctor's orders said no. And since she knows me so well, she marked off the things I was not allowed to do:
Work
Text
Play videogames
Shoot pool
I was like "Then what the hell am I supposed to do all weekend?"
Saturday I hung out over at my sister's. Our mom was out there helping her decorate one of her trailers, and when they went to Lowe's, I stayed with The Paige. She and I ended up going to Braums, where she told me that she knows a lot about things that don't exist, and she only believes in some of the Harry Potter characters. Not all.
Her daddy came home and filled up the pool, so Kelly and I got in there with her with our glass of wine. And that bitch was COLD!!!!! Kelly stood up most of the time, but like the mermaid I am, it didn't take me long to get used to it.
Sunday was Funday with Will. Went over and watched the Italy/Spain soccer game, and had to do shots of bourbon when Italy scored. My mother was disappointed saying "I've raised you better than to watch soccer." My response was "You raised me to admire hot men, and soccer has tons of them."
Then had lunch with my friend Tae. Hadn't seen her since she'd gotten her new silver Scion, and she's a sexy beast in that car now!!
Well, the White Queens have kicked in, so before I stop making sense, I shall say fare the well.
I'm currently sitting in my studio at work with an icepack on my ankle and splints on my wrists. And they are both unrelated injuries.
My tendonitis has been really bad the past couple weeks, and now I've got to get an EMG and nerve reduction study done. And those aren't pleasant experiences either. This just pisses me off more because I'm thinking I'LL NEVER GET TO THOSE VIOLIN LESSONS MY PARENTS GOT ME FOR CHRISTMAS
The gods are against me. Or so it feels like sometimes.
Then this morning while I was innocently giving my dogs water, I fell off my back porch and into the damned sinkhole by the deck. Needless to say I was rolling around in my backyard cussing at the top of my lungs at 4:30 am. Bastards.
I had a great weekend, though. I was supposed to work, but doctor's orders said no. And since she knows me so well, she marked off the things I was not allowed to do:
Work
Text
Play videogames
Shoot pool
I was like "Then what the hell am I supposed to do all weekend?"
Saturday I hung out over at my sister's. Our mom was out there helping her decorate one of her trailers, and when they went to Lowe's, I stayed with The Paige. She and I ended up going to Braums, where she told me that she knows a lot about things that don't exist, and she only believes in some of the Harry Potter characters. Not all.
Her daddy came home and filled up the pool, so Kelly and I got in there with her with our glass of wine. And that bitch was COLD!!!!! Kelly stood up most of the time, but like the mermaid I am, it didn't take me long to get used to it.
Sunday was Funday with Will. Went over and watched the Italy/Spain soccer game, and had to do shots of bourbon when Italy scored. My mother was disappointed saying "I've raised you better than to watch soccer." My response was "You raised me to admire hot men, and soccer has tons of them."
Then had lunch with my friend Tae. Hadn't seen her since she'd gotten her new silver Scion, and she's a sexy beast in that car now!!
Well, the White Queens have kicked in, so before I stop making sense, I shall say fare the well.
Monday, May 21, 2012
Desperately Random
You ever think you need to be more upset over something than you really are? Like maybe something happens, and you were totally expecting it to go down this way, and you feel like you should be more upset, hurt, pissed off, whatever, but you just can't muster up the emotions?
That's kinda where I am right now with some stuff going on in my life.
Sometimes I wonder if my mental illness is the cause of that. Some deep-seeded sociopathic tendencies. Unlikely, yes. But still...
I think a part of me wants to feel sad over something, and because I don't I wonder WTF is wrong with me. Have I resigned myself to it? Gods, I hope not.
I've been told by numerous people that I'm the most openly closed off person they've ever met. I never knew this about myself, LoL. I'm very open and friendly and a "what you see is what you get" kinda gal, but I don't let people in.
Now that I've been serious, let me switch gears.
I had a great weekend. Saturday wore me the eff out. I cooked chili at T.O.T. in Irving and got fifth place out of 65 cooks. Not bad, not bad. My sister got second, and The Page got first place juniors and won her first stove ever. I'm sorry I missed her incredibly cheesy reaction, but I had to go home and get ready for a raunchy bachelorette party. I won two games, and one of my prizes was a one-night stand kit. I'll let you guess what all that comes with, though I'm thinking you won't have an issue. We then went to Cowboys, some country music club, and while I loathe that music, I still had a great time.
I can not skip my meds. EVAH. Holy Hades, it just makes me feel completely jacked up the next day. Found that out Friday when I got home too late Thursday night to take my pills (and had been imbibing) and the next morning you would have thought I'd spent the entire weekend in Vegas drinking everything, including the worm. And I only had one drink!!!!!!
"True Blood" starts up in a couple of weeks, and the hotness that is Alcide will soon be invading my living room. Well, not mine since I go to a friend's house to watch it. But that means "Game of Thrones" will be over until next year. Bastards. This season has been awesome, despite the fact they've deviated from the books a bit. TEAM ARYA
Well, I must be off. I'm technically "on-air" but we'll keep that between us.
That's kinda where I am right now with some stuff going on in my life.
Sometimes I wonder if my mental illness is the cause of that. Some deep-seeded sociopathic tendencies. Unlikely, yes. But still...
I think a part of me wants to feel sad over something, and because I don't I wonder WTF is wrong with me. Have I resigned myself to it? Gods, I hope not.
I've been told by numerous people that I'm the most openly closed off person they've ever met. I never knew this about myself, LoL. I'm very open and friendly and a "what you see is what you get" kinda gal, but I don't let people in.
Now that I've been serious, let me switch gears.
I had a great weekend. Saturday wore me the eff out. I cooked chili at T.O.T. in Irving and got fifth place out of 65 cooks. Not bad, not bad. My sister got second, and The Page got first place juniors and won her first stove ever. I'm sorry I missed her incredibly cheesy reaction, but I had to go home and get ready for a raunchy bachelorette party. I won two games, and one of my prizes was a one-night stand kit. I'll let you guess what all that comes with, though I'm thinking you won't have an issue. We then went to Cowboys, some country music club, and while I loathe that music, I still had a great time.
I can not skip my meds. EVAH. Holy Hades, it just makes me feel completely jacked up the next day. Found that out Friday when I got home too late Thursday night to take my pills (and had been imbibing) and the next morning you would have thought I'd spent the entire weekend in Vegas drinking everything, including the worm. And I only had one drink!!!!!!
"True Blood" starts up in a couple of weeks, and the hotness that is Alcide will soon be invading my living room. Well, not mine since I go to a friend's house to watch it. But that means "Game of Thrones" will be over until next year. Bastards. This season has been awesome, despite the fact they've deviated from the books a bit. TEAM ARYA
Well, I must be off. I'm technically "on-air" but we'll keep that between us.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Trading One Vice(s) for Another
Hellooooooooooo cigarettes.
We've had a tumultuous relationship. You taunting me every time I drink, begging me to light your tip up. But I rarely gave in.
But now that I've dropped a couple of bad habits (I think you can guess what they might be) I've started smoking on a regular basis. Like having to buy my own pack basis. *sigh*
Before anybody lectures, believe me....I know. I've been raised around smokers my entire life. Hell, I'm surprised I didn't come out of the womb asking for one. Most of my family has either stopped completely or cut back dramatically, which is great. I've watched them struggle with quitting, and had to listen/read what other people say about smokers. You can be a serial killer, but if you smoke, that's the biggest sin.
Ugh, best not to start on "those" people. They piss me off. No one is perfect, we all have our crutches, so just STFU and work on your own problems.
Anyhoo, I think it's more of an oral fixation than being addicted to nicotine now. I only smoke maybe three or four a day, and I'm not having freak-out attacks when I can't have one. Am I happy that I've begun this? No. But a lot of people coming down from things pick up smoking, so I guess I'm just one in a long list of billions to take it up to ease the withdrawals of other things.
We've had a tumultuous relationship. You taunting me every time I drink, begging me to light your tip up. But I rarely gave in.
But now that I've dropped a couple of bad habits (I think you can guess what they might be) I've started smoking on a regular basis. Like having to buy my own pack basis. *sigh*
Before anybody lectures, believe me....I know. I've been raised around smokers my entire life. Hell, I'm surprised I didn't come out of the womb asking for one. Most of my family has either stopped completely or cut back dramatically, which is great. I've watched them struggle with quitting, and had to listen/read what other people say about smokers. You can be a serial killer, but if you smoke, that's the biggest sin.
Ugh, best not to start on "those" people. They piss me off. No one is perfect, we all have our crutches, so just STFU and work on your own problems.
Anyhoo, I think it's more of an oral fixation than being addicted to nicotine now. I only smoke maybe three or four a day, and I'm not having freak-out attacks when I can't have one. Am I happy that I've begun this? No. But a lot of people coming down from things pick up smoking, so I guess I'm just one in a long list of billions to take it up to ease the withdrawals of other things.
Monday, April 30, 2012
There Is a House in New Orleans...
That has a tub so deep that my natural flotation devices came in quite handy. You could let it keep running because the water would spill over into a drain. SO FRAKKING AWESOME
I had a spectacular time in New Orleans with Lot Lizard, and two of her friends from Colorado. We rented a little place on St. John's bayou from this lovely couple, and there were times when instead of partying hard we were just sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs, people watching. Of course we were doing things on the porch to continue to party...
And we're moving on. We ate at Mothers and all I kept doing was singing the Danzig song to the ladies fixing my meal behind the counter. Weird looks ensued, but I didn't care. I was on VACATION. Then later that night after having been up for 24 hours (and off my meds) I had a nice little episode. So I excused myself, left the dark bar where some girl got so blitzed that she fell off a stool while trying to impress men, and made it back to our place. Exhaustion and no antipsychotics does not make for a pleasant experience, and I'll just leave it at that, LoL.
I drank some iced coffee at Cafe Dumond, and I'm sure if I were a coffee drinker I would have been all atingle over it, but it was meh. The beignets were delicious though. Saturday it was a rainy morning, so we went to the museum, which I crashed. Hey, they told me to check my drink in. They didn't tell me to come back and pay after I did that. Some dude was following me around and took a picture of my shirt. Riiiiiiiight. My "Xanax: Because sometimes whiskey isn't enough" shirt. Nothing like going into a museum and becoming a piece of art yourself. Huzzah!
We then at at Acme Oyster bar, and it was DELICIOUS. Lot Lizard kept ordering every damned thing off the menu when they would bring her something else. It was awesome. And then I got my Tarot read by a dude name Phillip, then my runes read by a guy named Oscar Brock, who thought my "tatas were fascinating".
*sigh*
Sunday we toured the Garden District. Those homes are unbelievable. I can't really compare them to anything around here like Cottonwood Valley or Highland Park since it's completely different architecture, but I know that I will definitely be living there one day in the French Quarter, hopefully above some voodoo store.
I've been working on an outline for a book. This is ginormous for me. Usually I just free write and hope something happens. Which is probably why I've got a gazillion little paragraphs and stories going around. But with the new meds, it's a whole new ballgame. I'm actually starting the one that I got so far on a very long time ago, back when I actually went to writing groups where we shared what we were writing with other writers. I may find another group to join. Who knows.
Small steps.
That's all I've got time for today. Fare thee well my fine friends.
I had a spectacular time in New Orleans with Lot Lizard, and two of her friends from Colorado. We rented a little place on St. John's bayou from this lovely couple, and there were times when instead of partying hard we were just sitting on the front porch in rocking chairs, people watching. Of course we were doing things on the porch to continue to party...
And we're moving on. We ate at Mothers and all I kept doing was singing the Danzig song to the ladies fixing my meal behind the counter. Weird looks ensued, but I didn't care. I was on VACATION. Then later that night after having been up for 24 hours (and off my meds) I had a nice little episode. So I excused myself, left the dark bar where some girl got so blitzed that she fell off a stool while trying to impress men, and made it back to our place. Exhaustion and no antipsychotics does not make for a pleasant experience, and I'll just leave it at that, LoL.
I drank some iced coffee at Cafe Dumond, and I'm sure if I were a coffee drinker I would have been all atingle over it, but it was meh. The beignets were delicious though. Saturday it was a rainy morning, so we went to the museum, which I crashed. Hey, they told me to check my drink in. They didn't tell me to come back and pay after I did that. Some dude was following me around and took a picture of my shirt. Riiiiiiiight. My "Xanax: Because sometimes whiskey isn't enough" shirt. Nothing like going into a museum and becoming a piece of art yourself. Huzzah!
We then at at Acme Oyster bar, and it was DELICIOUS. Lot Lizard kept ordering every damned thing off the menu when they would bring her something else. It was awesome. And then I got my Tarot read by a dude name Phillip, then my runes read by a guy named Oscar Brock, who thought my "tatas were fascinating".
*sigh*
Sunday we toured the Garden District. Those homes are unbelievable. I can't really compare them to anything around here like Cottonwood Valley or Highland Park since it's completely different architecture, but I know that I will definitely be living there one day in the French Quarter, hopefully above some voodoo store.
I've been working on an outline for a book. This is ginormous for me. Usually I just free write and hope something happens. Which is probably why I've got a gazillion little paragraphs and stories going around. But with the new meds, it's a whole new ballgame. I'm actually starting the one that I got so far on a very long time ago, back when I actually went to writing groups where we shared what we were writing with other writers. I may find another group to join. Who knows.
Small steps.
That's all I've got time for today. Fare thee well my fine friends.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Back In the Saddle Again
After two months, I've finally got my meds back. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
*does funky chicken dance*
I also got a new diagnosis, which I'm not too keen on. I think when you've got so many little things that don't make you fit into one category, you get lumped in with the "Blenders" as I call them. We're an unusual mix of quite a few things, and sometimes just adding more sugar doesn't make it sweet, it makes it yucky. Did that make sense?
I don't really care. ;)
I know I haven't blogged in a while, but that's because it's hard for me to put my thoughts to paper (so to speak) that mortals can understand, since my rambling was off the charts here the past few weeks.
I'm not going to drone on about it, so...moving on.
Going to New Orleans with the Lot Lizard next weekend, and I am beyond excited. I've never been there, and my sister and her hubby have given us a slew of places that we need to hit up. We've rented a little house on the water, and I'm driving the Honey Badger out probably Thursday evening.
Can't Wait!! (Bart Scott wanna-be)
Short and sweet, my feathered friends. Stay classy San Diego.
*does funky chicken dance*
I also got a new diagnosis, which I'm not too keen on. I think when you've got so many little things that don't make you fit into one category, you get lumped in with the "Blenders" as I call them. We're an unusual mix of quite a few things, and sometimes just adding more sugar doesn't make it sweet, it makes it yucky. Did that make sense?
I don't really care. ;)
I know I haven't blogged in a while, but that's because it's hard for me to put my thoughts to paper (so to speak) that mortals can understand, since my rambling was off the charts here the past few weeks.
I'm not going to drone on about it, so...moving on.
Going to New Orleans with the Lot Lizard next weekend, and I am beyond excited. I've never been there, and my sister and her hubby have given us a slew of places that we need to hit up. We've rented a little house on the water, and I'm driving the Honey Badger out probably Thursday evening.
Can't Wait!! (Bart Scott wanna-be)
Short and sweet, my feathered friends. Stay classy San Diego.
Monday, March 19, 2012
We're All Mad Here
And here we go again.
I haven't been on my anti-psychotics for almost a month now thanks to all sorts of fuckedupness from my insurance and my doctor. It's too long and complicated a story to tell, but at least y'all know I didn't stop them myself.
Now I have to go see a new doctor, hope they give me this pill which has worked like NO OTHER PILL BEFORE and Courtney can get back to feeling "normal" again.
Let me give you a rundown of what goes on inside my head. As soon as I wake up, it's like a radio station up here. Music, conversations, images, movie quotes, voices, different personalities...They're all there vying for attention and it's so hard for me to grab on to anything solid, so I walk around making no sense whatsoever when I'm talking to someone because there are too many people in my head.
I hear things, I don't trust what I see, and my OCD and paranoia has moved to gods-like levels.
I wish this was hyperactivity and I could take what every other person on the planet takes. But it's not. And it's so easy for people to assume I'm ADHD when in fact, I'm not. Yes, I've got some of it sprinkled throughout, but that's not my main issue. One day I'll share with all of you what it is I have. I just don't like being labeled, and that's all y'all would see me as.
My poor friends, they've been able to handle me so far, with my random texting, bizarre conversations, and stoned out episodes. There are times Courtney needs it to be quiet in her head, and trust me, I will do whatever it takes to get that peace, however short it may be.
I've got an appointment with a new doctor next Monday, and I hope I sounded desperate (crazy) enough for them to want to help me, instead of give me the run around.
I feel like my last doctor played me, and don't troll a troll. Your time will come, brain man.
I haven't been on my anti-psychotics for almost a month now thanks to all sorts of fuckedupness from my insurance and my doctor. It's too long and complicated a story to tell, but at least y'all know I didn't stop them myself.
Now I have to go see a new doctor, hope they give me this pill which has worked like NO OTHER PILL BEFORE and Courtney can get back to feeling "normal" again.
Let me give you a rundown of what goes on inside my head. As soon as I wake up, it's like a radio station up here. Music, conversations, images, movie quotes, voices, different personalities...They're all there vying for attention and it's so hard for me to grab on to anything solid, so I walk around making no sense whatsoever when I'm talking to someone because there are too many people in my head.
I hear things, I don't trust what I see, and my OCD and paranoia has moved to gods-like levels.
I wish this was hyperactivity and I could take what every other person on the planet takes. But it's not. And it's so easy for people to assume I'm ADHD when in fact, I'm not. Yes, I've got some of it sprinkled throughout, but that's not my main issue. One day I'll share with all of you what it is I have. I just don't like being labeled, and that's all y'all would see me as.
My poor friends, they've been able to handle me so far, with my random texting, bizarre conversations, and stoned out episodes. There are times Courtney needs it to be quiet in her head, and trust me, I will do whatever it takes to get that peace, however short it may be.
I've got an appointment with a new doctor next Monday, and I hope I sounded desperate (crazy) enough for them to want to help me, instead of give me the run around.
I feel like my last doctor played me, and don't troll a troll. Your time will come, brain man.
Friday, February 17, 2012
If I Only Had a Brain
And no, I'm not referring to myself.
I speak of a doctor. Let's call him the Brain Man. He prescribed me pills to help for my chronic insomnia, and boy did it work. Sleeping is now an art I master, and I had been flunking that class since junior high. If you read my blog, you know the insane shitstorm I had to go through a little over a month ago to get those pills refilled because my diagnosis isn't a criteria for the pill.
Oh, you psychotropic drugs you.
Anyways, now I'm left in limbo AGAIN, even though his nurse sent in an appeal. To her surprise, it wasn't denied, but it is under review. The doctor doesn't treat "psychiatric disorders" so he won't/can't change my diagnosis so I can get the refills and be happy, sane Courtney.
My question ~~ WHY THE HELL DID YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING THAT YOU KNEW THE INSURANCE COMPANY WOULDN'T OK BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T USE IT CORRECTLY ON ME EVEN THOUGH IT WORKS
Now I have to probably go see another doctor, go through this frakking bullshit all over again, and I bet my file has been flagged and they'll see I'm trying to get the pills from another doctor under a different, though real, diagnosis and they'll think I'm some junkie.
I heard that snicker.
Anyways, I'm just extremely frustrated. True, I waited a bit too long to find out how my appeal was going, but the nurse said she didn't even hear back from the insurance company until Monday. She's staying on top of things, and I do appreciate it. She knows...give the slightly skewed girl her meds. Even if she is trying to diagnose me as bipolar.
This pill is only given for four things, and I've got two of those. But that's not what I went to see the Brain Man for. He was a sleep specialist, and I needed help. And no, I'm not going to list the four criteria, but I will tell you one of them is bipolar, and nope, that's not it.
Long story short...Courtney's gonna be off her meds in the next few days. Welcome to Thunderdome.
I speak of a doctor. Let's call him the Brain Man. He prescribed me pills to help for my chronic insomnia, and boy did it work. Sleeping is now an art I master, and I had been flunking that class since junior high. If you read my blog, you know the insane shitstorm I had to go through a little over a month ago to get those pills refilled because my diagnosis isn't a criteria for the pill.
Oh, you psychotropic drugs you.
Anyways, now I'm left in limbo AGAIN, even though his nurse sent in an appeal. To her surprise, it wasn't denied, but it is under review. The doctor doesn't treat "psychiatric disorders" so he won't/can't change my diagnosis so I can get the refills and be happy, sane Courtney.
My question ~~ WHY THE HELL DID YOU GIVE ME SOMETHING THAT YOU KNEW THE INSURANCE COMPANY WOULDN'T OK BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T USE IT CORRECTLY ON ME EVEN THOUGH IT WORKS
Now I have to probably go see another doctor, go through this frakking bullshit all over again, and I bet my file has been flagged and they'll see I'm trying to get the pills from another doctor under a different, though real, diagnosis and they'll think I'm some junkie.
I heard that snicker.
Anyways, I'm just extremely frustrated. True, I waited a bit too long to find out how my appeal was going, but the nurse said she didn't even hear back from the insurance company until Monday. She's staying on top of things, and I do appreciate it. She knows...give the slightly skewed girl her meds. Even if she is trying to diagnose me as bipolar.
This pill is only given for four things, and I've got two of those. But that's not what I went to see the Brain Man for. He was a sleep specialist, and I needed help. And no, I'm not going to list the four criteria, but I will tell you one of them is bipolar, and nope, that's not it.
Long story short...Courtney's gonna be off her meds in the next few days. Welcome to Thunderdome.
Monday, January 30, 2012
Migraines, Twilight Marathons, Indoor hockey, and other goodies
I had a horrible migraine Saturday, and spent much of the day at my sister's house camped out on her couch in my stolen Armani sunglasses and pjs, rolling on hydro and...well, just rolling, trying anything I could to get rid of this vicious headache.
Since it was just Kelly and I, we did our Twilight marathon and sushi. The "Twilight" series fascinates me. I think they are horrible films and tell young girls they are incomplete unless they have a man in their life. I mean, Bella literally wakes up screaming after Edward leaves her, and she wastes away. Yes, that's right girls. You too will suffer from horrible nightmares and just sit in a chair all day long when the man you love doesn't love you back. Yet I can't stop watching them. I keep hoping my opinion of them will change, but it doesn't. And I love Kristen Stewart. She doesn't give a shit about anything, and I like that in a person. I think the hydro helped this time around.
Sunday is what I like to call "Will Day" and yesterday meant NHL All Star Game, and then watching another one of our friend's play ice hockey. For a church league. Yeah, that's just asking for trouble with us. We were cussing and screaming and calling for bloodshed. It was awesome, but cold as a witch's tit.
I had a really bad OCD/Paranoia day Thursday, so much so I was apologizing for it. Luckily my friend is totally cool with it and never mentions it or says "It's awesome". So Yay for people who understand.
Other than that, it's been pretty decent week. I had one minor meltdown, which I could feel was coming. You ever wake up in the morning and you know you're hanging on by a thin thread and just hope that whatever breaks it doesn't happen in public? That's me. But those days are getting a little less severe, and the voices in my head are liking me right now. I'll take that any day. :D
Since it was just Kelly and I, we did our Twilight marathon and sushi. The "Twilight" series fascinates me. I think they are horrible films and tell young girls they are incomplete unless they have a man in their life. I mean, Bella literally wakes up screaming after Edward leaves her, and she wastes away. Yes, that's right girls. You too will suffer from horrible nightmares and just sit in a chair all day long when the man you love doesn't love you back. Yet I can't stop watching them. I keep hoping my opinion of them will change, but it doesn't. And I love Kristen Stewart. She doesn't give a shit about anything, and I like that in a person. I think the hydro helped this time around.
Sunday is what I like to call "Will Day" and yesterday meant NHL All Star Game, and then watching another one of our friend's play ice hockey. For a church league. Yeah, that's just asking for trouble with us. We were cussing and screaming and calling for bloodshed. It was awesome, but cold as a witch's tit.
I had a really bad OCD/Paranoia day Thursday, so much so I was apologizing for it. Luckily my friend is totally cool with it and never mentions it or says "It's awesome". So Yay for people who understand.
Other than that, it's been pretty decent week. I had one minor meltdown, which I could feel was coming. You ever wake up in the morning and you know you're hanging on by a thin thread and just hope that whatever breaks it doesn't happen in public? That's me. But those days are getting a little less severe, and the voices in my head are liking me right now. I'll take that any day. :D
Monday, January 16, 2012
A Recovering Chronic Insomniac
Last night was pretty rad. I went to bed around 10 pm and didn't wake up until my alarm went off at 3:50 am. What's so rad about that? Because this morning, even while I'm slightly peeved that I'm so damned groggy and driving with one eye open like a pirate to try and stay awake, I realize I didn't wake up once.
It wasn't but a few months ago where I was running around like a crazy woman (and some of you say how the hell has that changed?) Believe me, it has. Everyone always talks about how sleep is so important, but tons of people scoff at that and say "I'M INVINCIBLE AND IMMUNE AND ALL I NEED IS A COFFEE WITH CARAMEL SPRINKLES AND WHIPPED CREAM TO KEEP ME GOING."
Hah! Imagine a chronic insomniac who hates coffee? That's me. I ran on pure insanity, living on two to three hours of sleep a night, my brain so jacked up I was hallucinating and hearing things. And extremely, extremely paranoid. Hell, I'm still paranoid, but that's another story for another time.
"Tired," "Exhausted"...these words are no longer in my vocabulary when asked how I'm feeling. Sure, they've been replaced by "Groggy," but that's a given. I've never felt that sensation before, and while extremely annoying, I guess I've got to look at it as a sign that the pills I've been put on are doing their work. And helping not just with my sleep, but other aspects of my personality as well. Who know that a pill not classified as a sleeping pill, or even an antidepressant, could finally help a gal who'd tried everything under the moon to chill her out.
But don't think I've abandoned you, my fellow worshippers of the Cheshire Cat. I'm still here, lurking and sitting outside at night talking to the sky. I'm just making a bit more sense now when I'm doing it.
It wasn't but a few months ago where I was running around like a crazy woman (and some of you say how the hell has that changed?) Believe me, it has. Everyone always talks about how sleep is so important, but tons of people scoff at that and say "I'M INVINCIBLE AND IMMUNE AND ALL I NEED IS A COFFEE WITH CARAMEL SPRINKLES AND WHIPPED CREAM TO KEEP ME GOING."
Hah! Imagine a chronic insomniac who hates coffee? That's me. I ran on pure insanity, living on two to three hours of sleep a night, my brain so jacked up I was hallucinating and hearing things. And extremely, extremely paranoid. Hell, I'm still paranoid, but that's another story for another time.
"Tired," "Exhausted"...these words are no longer in my vocabulary when asked how I'm feeling. Sure, they've been replaced by "Groggy," but that's a given. I've never felt that sensation before, and while extremely annoying, I guess I've got to look at it as a sign that the pills I've been put on are doing their work. And helping not just with my sleep, but other aspects of my personality as well. Who know that a pill not classified as a sleeping pill, or even an antidepressant, could finally help a gal who'd tried everything under the moon to chill her out.
But don't think I've abandoned you, my fellow worshippers of the Cheshire Cat. I'm still here, lurking and sitting outside at night talking to the sky. I'm just making a bit more sense now when I'm doing it.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
99 Problems And Cleanin' Is One
I am not, shall we say, domestically abled. Cleaning my house is one of the most mundane and overwhelming things that I can think of. My parents' house is immaculate, everything in it's place, but it never felt like a museum. Rather it's a house that you can tell people live in.
My sister cleans her house on a regular basis, but she's got a pretty hectic life and her house can get out of control with kids and a hubby.
Me, on the other hand, a single gal, you'd think I wouldn't have any issue keeping a tidy home. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I'm a hoarder, a pack rat, and just don't know how to clean things all the way because I get bored or feel like if no one is there to see it, what do I care how nice everything looks?
I bought a Wicca book because it sounded like it was about natural Wicca, which is what I'm into. But instead it's more about cleaning the clutter out of your house (and life) in a magical way. It's actually pretty cool and I've already done some things in it.
It's true that a chaotic life can reflect a chaotic house. And my life has been pretty wild here lately, especially inside my own head. Slowly, very, very slowly, I'm getting some of the clutter out of my house. I cleaned my oven yesterday, which was a huge feat for me, but then of course I was asked if I did it right and did I leave the oven door open to let the fumes wear off.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Small steps is what I have to take. Who knows, maybe in a few months my entire house will be clutter free. But if not, if it's only a couple of rooms, I'll be okay with that.
My sister cleans her house on a regular basis, but she's got a pretty hectic life and her house can get out of control with kids and a hubby.
Me, on the other hand, a single gal, you'd think I wouldn't have any issue keeping a tidy home. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I'm a hoarder, a pack rat, and just don't know how to clean things all the way because I get bored or feel like if no one is there to see it, what do I care how nice everything looks?
I bought a Wicca book because it sounded like it was about natural Wicca, which is what I'm into. But instead it's more about cleaning the clutter out of your house (and life) in a magical way. It's actually pretty cool and I've already done some things in it.
It's true that a chaotic life can reflect a chaotic house. And my life has been pretty wild here lately, especially inside my own head. Slowly, very, very slowly, I'm getting some of the clutter out of my house. I cleaned my oven yesterday, which was a huge feat for me, but then of course I was asked if I did it right and did I leave the oven door open to let the fumes wear off.
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Small steps is what I have to take. Who knows, maybe in a few months my entire house will be clutter free. But if not, if it's only a couple of rooms, I'll be okay with that.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Yay for Pillzlol
After the clusterfuck that was my insurance company and doctor's office, I've finally got my pills back. True, they're only samples, but I don't care. I've got two more months of them, and hopefully by that time my medical record will be fixed and I won't ever have this problem again. Ever. Did I say ever? EVER!!!!!!!
But Courtney, you say, how could this happen? How could they deny your prescription? Well, because my doctor was trying to be nice by not labeling me in my Permanent Record, that's how. Poor man, he probably didn't realize what he was doing, and I don't blame him. And yes, part of it is my fault because I went in there acting sane, and let's face it...I'm short a few circuits. Or have extras...
Moving on!
The medicine wasn't being prescribed to me for the 4 reasons that people get it, so I had to tell the insurance company that yes, I have two of those conditions, and then call the doctor's office and have them change the diagnosis. So now they have to appeal the diagnosis and all that shit. Who knew it would be this difficult to get drugs legally? Hmpf.
And for those who follow my blog, y'all know I had a tough time adjusting to this new pill, even though I was getting the best sleep EVER. There's that word again. But being "all alone" in my head took some major adjustment. And when my body didn't have it for THREE FRAKKING WEEKS, Courtney lost all ability to cope. And apparently I had these coping skills before (or so my mother and others, hey that rhymes, told me). I was easily irritated and had absolutely no time for BS. And I'm one of those go-with-the-flow chicks. Very easy-going and laid back, much like my Dad. We don't let the small stuff bother us. And my paranoia, holy Zeus, that was even worse!
Long story short. Just say yes.
But Courtney, you say, how could this happen? How could they deny your prescription? Well, because my doctor was trying to be nice by not labeling me in my Permanent Record, that's how. Poor man, he probably didn't realize what he was doing, and I don't blame him. And yes, part of it is my fault because I went in there acting sane, and let's face it...I'm short a few circuits. Or have extras...
Moving on!
The medicine wasn't being prescribed to me for the 4 reasons that people get it, so I had to tell the insurance company that yes, I have two of those conditions, and then call the doctor's office and have them change the diagnosis. So now they have to appeal the diagnosis and all that shit. Who knew it would be this difficult to get drugs legally? Hmpf.
And for those who follow my blog, y'all know I had a tough time adjusting to this new pill, even though I was getting the best sleep EVER. There's that word again. But being "all alone" in my head took some major adjustment. And when my body didn't have it for THREE FRAKKING WEEKS, Courtney lost all ability to cope. And apparently I had these coping skills before (or so my mother and others, hey that rhymes, told me). I was easily irritated and had absolutely no time for BS. And I'm one of those go-with-the-flow chicks. Very easy-going and laid back, much like my Dad. We don't let the small stuff bother us. And my paranoia, holy Zeus, that was even worse!
Long story short. Just say yes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)