During a conversation with my sister and an elderly gentleman, the age-old tradition that has been passed down to me by my forefathers was brought up...Squirrel killing.
My sister was telling us the story how she'd hit a deer on her way home from a trip, and how it jacked up her car and that she had never, ever hit an animal before in her life. And that's when I informed them that I run over squirrels on purpose.
That's right. If they don't get out of the way, I don't swerve to miss them.
Some may say that's animal cruelty, but I'm not like ramming into trees to send them flying and then picking them off one by one. Or sitting in my parent's backyard with a BB Gun shooting them off of my mom's birdfeeder.
True, it's a lesson to all the squirrels out that that lived in the house I was raised in. They would get stuck in the walls and you could hear them dying with each horrible last breath they took at one am in the damned morning, or fighting in the attic with each other over a nut or something. So yes, I do see it as "This could happen to you if you even think about coming back into the house again."
And believe me, I love animals. If I wasn't allergic to have of the gods creations, I would have been a vet. But squirrels...there's something about how they just stay in the road when they see cars coming, daring you. Taunting you.
That Geico commercial isn't far off...
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